"I LOVE YOU!"

My heart is heavy for my little one!! He just got over another sickness that took him out for about a week! The only symptom was a fever over the weekend and then the next week he slept. He was so tired all week. I was really worried about him.

This is going to be the norm for him when he gets sick. It takes all the energy for his little body has to fight the sickness off. To see my little one like this... words can not describe! The worst part about it is...we have very little communication between each other. I sign to him all the time and he is slowly learning signs. It's been a total nightmare trying to get him speech therapy. I kept signing "I LOVE YOU". I hope that he understand the depth of love I have for him!!!

Someday there will be a time when HE can tell me "I LOVE YOU" if it's with words or if it is through sign I will take it anyway I can. I want to know him!!!! I want to know what goes on in that little sweet head of his! I desperately want to help him when he is frustrated and can't get across what he wants. To have just a conversation with him would be a dream come true!

My heart is heavy for my little one! So I ask the Lord for strength for Patience, for understanding as I teach my little boy language in some form. (What we most of the time take for granted.) I pray for sensitivity when he throws his tantrum and for the wisdom to know how to deal with them when they arise!

I know in my heart how deep the love goes and where it's gonna take us both! For it is not only my love but God's love, and how much more love can that be!!!!

My dear little Alex, you are amazing!! Your smile and giggle light up my day! I see how much you want and desire, just in your eyes and I so want to get you to where you need to be! May I be your example of Gods love pouring down on you. To be the cheerleader you need me to be.
To be your mom is such a privilege that I never take lightly! Thank you so much for being a little Alex!!!! I LOVE YOU SO VERY VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!

Happy Mothers Day!!!

Tomorrow is Mothers Day! I have been thinking a lot about it tonight! I love being a mother! When I was young that is one thing I wanted to be when I grew up! For me becoming a Mother is the hardest thing! There is so much to that title!

As a Mom, I pray that my kids know that I love them. Yes, I tell them over and over again but I really want them to know in their minds and in their hearts! As for me I need to discover how each one of them accepts my love! I could tell them till I'm blue in the face that I love them but with out action behind it, they are just words. Are they words that my children can trust and believe in!

As I continue to think about this, I know that people care and love me by the time they spend with me. Someone can tell me that they love me over and over again but it isn't really real until they take that time.

I am a big gift giver! I love giving gifts! It's how I show that I care about my friends, family, and children. The joy I get for making people smile and to have something tangible for them to be reminded that they are loved by me is priceless!

My husband wants to hear that I love him! No matter how much I clean up the house or cards I give him. He accepts my love through my words that are spoken.

I have no idea how Eli, Alex, or Emma accepts my love and I have years to come on finding that out. I believe it is so important to find that out! As a mother that is very important to me!!! Because when I am teaching them how to grow through life lessons they need to know that it comes from a loving spirit!

With the title of being a "Mother" come big responsibilities! I mean BIG! It also comes with So much JOY and LAUGHTER. On the flip side, it comes with heart ache and worry, and every other emotion imaginable. Smile

I trust in God that he made me the way I need to be to take on this great big responsibility of being a Mother. Every step of the way, he is right there guiding me. Teaching me how to take care of his children!

I am blessed to be a Mother! To me it is the best job in the whole world!!

Thank you to my family, OH how much I love each and everyone of you!!!

Who Knew?

I titled this posting, "Who Knew?" Why do I say this? When I was a little girl my dream in life was this: To become a teacher, to become a wife, and to become a mother. To live my life the way God wants me to. Along this journey I have taken winding roads instead of the straight and narrow path. Each winding road growing me stronger into the person I need to be for where I am now in life!

Why did God allow me to have polio, why did I have to deal with all the self esteem issues that go along with it. Why did I get married latter in life? Why have I not become a teacher. But I ask myself these question and I know the answers and they are the three little children that you see in these pictures. My life experiences have prepared me to help my children grow into the young children they are going to be. My ability to be social and outgoing will help Eli to become the confident young man that I hope he will become. My understanding of physical challenges will help Alex to get the extra encouragement he needs to overcome his challenges. My desire to teach is helping all my kids to learn and to love to learn. Everything is a lesson in life!

So, I have become the person I want to be, maybe not the way I thought it would look like but they way God saw it would be!

The little things I relish... Eli reading two sentence's in a book at 4 years old. Alex signing his first "two word" put together, Emma rolling over for the first time. These are my joys!

I am blessed to have a husband who supports me in all I do! He works so hard so that I can stay home and be actively involved in my kids lives!! To a wonderful family who helps me financially and emotionally, as I go through all the tough struggles as well as blessings. I am so blessed to have such wonderful friends who are my church family, who I know are there for me when ever I need them. For wonderful Mentors in my life who have supported me and given me such Godly wisdom and wisdom from their own lives to carry me through everything! MOST OF ALL I AM BLESSED To HAVE THE LOVE AND SUPPORT OF MY FATHER UP IN HEAVEN. Who knows all and shows me a little at a time of his best for me!!!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart! May I give to you as much as you have given to me!!!

I am back!

Hi everyone! I know it's almost been a year since my last posting. My life got really crazy busy! This year has been eventful. At my mops group a speaker came to talk on blogging so I thought I might pick it up again!

There is so much to say but right now I will give you the high lights of a few things. I'll come back tomorrow and write a little more and catch you up on what has been going on with the Taylor family!

Eli is now 4 and is in preschool and is now starting to read!
Alex is 2 1/2 and is doing well. He is involved in a lot of therapy and started to have horse riding therapy. "Ride to Walk"

And yes, there is a third one! I was correct in thinking it was a girl because baby Emma Christine Taylor was born on November 4, 2009. She has been such a joy and is growing up way to fast!

Jason, is still working hard to provide for his family and rock climbs and goes to our Wednesday Bible Study!!

I am running around like a chicken with it's head cut off! My life is very busy and am devoted to my husband, kids , family and friends. My passion is still crafting and I love to make things for my MOPS group!!

So, I'm back everyone and will be writing more frequently. I do have lots to say and will try to do it when it is not so late!!

Have a restful sleep and I'll see ya soon!

Embracing the Good!

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to say many good things are happening that I get to focus on. I can escape the bad for just a little while.

We are pregnant again. Friday the 8th, I will be 3 months pregnant. This was a surprise for us, but a good one! This pregnancy has gone really well. I have had no morning sickness really. I mean besides the stomach flue twice last month I've had no nausea. Yeah! It has been a very different pregnancy so far. I think it might be a girl. (I am only guessing and hoping) There was a heart beat at the ultra sound. It was the first thing I looked for. (smile)

Eli is doing well. He is such a smart little guy that I think he is smarter than me already. (smile) I try to build up my son's self esteem everyday. I think he knows it to because all he as to do is look at me with those big brown eyes, and that smile to die for and he gets his way. This is not good on my part. (oops) I need to toughen up. (smile) We have been battling bed time for a while. Both boys have a hard time going to bed with out me singing a song or being in the room as for Alex having to rock him to sleep. Well, just yesterday we went back to putting them to bed and walking out. They are both not happy about that. It will take some time to get used to but I know they can do it. They did it once before. I need to just be consistent and strong. I just need to know in my head that in the long run it will be better for all of us. (smile)

Jason is working hard as usual. We don't get to see much of him these days. It's tough on all of us. I know he misses us and the kids miss him. I hope and pray that this will pass as well and there will be one day that we will get to do the family thing all together. As for now, God has us were we are for some reason. Still trying to figure it out. (smile)

Now for Alex, I can not tell you how much this little guy has changed. He is catching up little by little. I'll give you the highlights. He is clapping his hands together with both hands open. He is crawling on everything. He pulls himself up on to his little rocking chair and then pulls himself onto the couch and then were ever else he can. It is so great to watch. The best thing of all is that he is babbling all day long. It's the same sounds right now but it is so wonderful to hear. It seems like he says thing and then looks at me to answer his question or get what he asked for. I love it.

We are still having trouble with his contacts. We have our good days and our bad days. Seems like now, I have a harder time putting them in than taking them out. Who knows I now that someday in the future, Alex will be able to do it all by himself. In the mean time it's my job. I try to do it as fast as I can. He screams but then once they are out or in I pick him up and the crying stops right away. I don't blame him! Do you? I mean I would not want someone pocking my eye twice a day. (smile) He is such a little trooper. We also have some problems losing the contacts. I am constantly looking in his eyes hoping that they are were they are supposed to be. Once or twice a day they seem to move off of the eye. Most of the time it is still in his eye but we already have lost two contacts. The third time, I found it on his high chair. That was really lucky.

As for me, I am doing okay. I am just focusing on all the good. There are many other struggles in my life right now that have been difficult to deal with but I would rather train myself to look at the good. Not ignoring the hard things but not giving them my worry time. I need to not dwell on the bad and embrace the good!

Alex is crawling on hands and knee's!!!!

I everyone, I am so excited to share with you that my little Alex who is 17month old is now starting to crawl on hands and knee's for the first time. He has only army crawled. Today Sunday March 22, 2009 he crawled all day on his hands and knee's. I am so proud of him! With all that is going on right now in my life this is Amazing News! He has come so far! I truly believe removing the cataracts really helped him with his confidence in seeing! He wants to move around more and now this!

Doctors still don't know what is wrong with him. They found some things to do with his mitochondria but are not diagnosing it just yet. Tomorrow he is going to have an ultra sound of his heart. Tuesday he will go in and get his stitches removed from his Right eye. Then I think that will be it for him. I don't think this little boy will have to be sedated anymore! He has already been sedated 7 times. This will be his 8th time.

Eli is doing well, really testing me these days! I feel like I don't get enough time with him. As things settle down I think the more attention will be spend less on doctors visits and more with my kids! I would like to start going out side more. We have to go outside more around 4:00pm so that there is shade for Alex's eyes! Since it stays sunning longer this is going to be a good thing! It's still difficult taking him out during the mid day. I do get to take both kids on walks because of the shaded stroller!

I've got to tell you a funny story about Eli. I was driving to Jason's cousins house and on the way we saw Firemen. They had boots in their hands and they were collecting money for a cause. Eli started asking me all these questions. In the end, I said it was a very kind thing for these firemen to do this. I think it is a very good thing! His reply was " If you think so mommy!"
I don't know where that came from! Sometimes I can't tell if he is 3 or 13.

Enjoy the pictures and video!!

Resa

Things Should settle down now!

Hey everyone,
It has been such a long time since I wrote. I am sorry! Things have been so crazy busy! I guess everyday has been busy for me since Alex has been born.

Well, this last weekend has been a little stressful. Let me get you up to date!

Friday March 6: I woke up at 5:oo am to get Alex to Kaiser in Rancho Cordova. He was going to be put to sleep so the eye doctor could look at his eyes as well as take the stitches out of his Left eye. We got home around 10-10:30am. My friend came with me and her two daughters watched Eli.

Well we came home and my husband was not doing well. (Earlier February he was diagnosed with Pacreatitus and Gall Stones) His Pacreatitus came back and he was in a lot of pain. He was lying down on the cement outside. His mother came to help him work and he was in too much pain to even walk around. He did not want to go to the E.R but let me call the Advice Nurse. She got him an appointment at 2:10 to see a doctor.

At 2:10 I was at Kaiser pt. West in Sacramento for his doctors apt. I was lucky the two daughters stayed to help watch both kids. I am so thankful for them!!!

The doctor told him to go to the E.R but he did not want to go so he ordered blood work done.

So at 7:30 at night, We get a call from the doctor and he said you need to go to the E.R Your levels are much higher than before. You need to deal with it.

So at 8:30 we were in the E.R room and Jason was admitted. I gotta tell you it was hard for me. It brought back a lot of memories of taking Alex to the E.R for his seizures. Well, he Jason was taken to a room in the E.R and guess what, it was the same room Alex had been in for his Seizures. Wow. I did not get home until 2:30 am the next morning.

His cousin Cheryl came. She was awesome! Totally helped me out by being there and I thank God for her.

My parents came the next day to help watch the kids while I went back and forth to the hospital. His mom was a great help as well. She stayed the night.

My sister and her Fiance helped out a bunch! They came and watched the kids and then came the next morning to watch the kids almost all day! I am so grateful to them. They all have been so supportive to me and my family!

I was very much taken care of!!

Jason was not able to get his Gall Bladder taken out that day because his pancreas was still inflamed. So Sunday is when he had it taken out. He i doing great right now. Back to work with help. But healing very well.

Alex is doing well, He has both contact in his eyes. We have been having trouble getting it out but these last two days I was able to get it out of one eye! Yeah!!!

Eli, is such a little trooper! He is weathering through it! Still needs attention but who wouldn't. This whole weekend and week has been about everyone but him. I try to give him special time with me but it's a little hard!

I love both my boys so very much! I hope things get to calm down now! My family has been through so much and we all just need a break!!!

Thanks for your prayers and support!!

Love, Resa