Do you have a child with Special needs? Thing I feel you should know!

     Something has been on my mind for a long time now. I still don't know how to write it all down but I am going to try. So here it is.
     If you are a parent that found out you have a child with special needs, here is a bit of information that I have learned over the years that I would like to share with you.

     First I want to tell you that I understand the fear and the overwhelming amount of information that is being thrown at you. I also understand the flooded emotions that you must be feeling right now. Know you are not alone and that you have friend who are there to support you. I want you to know how special you are. For this child came into a family where you are the perfect parents to take care of them. There will be challenges, there will be fears, there will be overwhelming joys, and there will be times that you yourself will be tested beyond believe. A few tips to help you through some of the challenges! 

• You are their voice! When it comes to Doctors, Therapist, Teachers, Family Member. Mama and Papa Bear hast to come out. I myself am not a confrontational person. I don't like to make waves. I don't like to be the loud parent that everyone talks about. But when it comes to my Child... it take every ounce of me to do so! 
• You have the right to your child's medical records! Get a file folder and label files to keep things in order. One for IEP's, Dr's Appointment, Neurologist, geneticist, tests, file for all the Doctors your child has or had in the past. Even if you have to pay for them it is a good idea to always have these records

I am realizing how important that is at this time. My Alex is going to have hip surgery at a different Hospital. He has to have a pediatric doctor check him out as well as a Neurologist, and other people. They need the records from his last health insurance doctor. I had a lot of them already because I have been keeping all his records. I didn't have some of his EKG and MRI a notes. It took about a week and a half to get. They can't clear him for surgery until they get to take a look at it. If you have it already then there is not much waiting time. I learned that the hard way.

Doctors have a lot on their plate and to have all that information ahead of time speeds up the process as well as helps them out! They are not lazy! They just have more Patience than they should have. I know it is a lot. My Son has a big case full of information with his first 5 years of life.

•    Take someone with you to your appointment If you can!  There is going to be a lot of information said at these appointment and it can be overwhelming. If you have someone there that could take notes of what the doctors says. An extra pair of ears as well as someone who can ask the doctors some questions that you may not think about at the time because you are so emotional drained and your mind is trying to make sense of it all.  If you can't have a person with you take a tape recorder. It may seem silly but it does help a lot to be able to go home and re-read notes or slowly hear what the doctor as said.
• If you can get into a support group. There is just so much that your friends can help you and support you with. They are amazing and wonderful people and can support you only to a point. Find other people who are going through the same thing or similar as you. They may know information that could help you more than you know it.
• Give your self a break! It is very important to take care of yourself as well. You will need those breaks away from the stress and the decisions you have to make. Go for coffee with a friend, a jog, go to the movies.  I myself love to craft... or should I say make cards for other people. In my last post, I don't have time for that but I know I need to do something for myself so. I am blogging and writing tutorials I found on line and it is fulfilling for me.
• Most Important: Communicate with your significant other if you have one!! Its going to be tough if you have someone who has a hard time dealing with all of this. Keep each other informed if anything because it is both your child. Make the tough decisions together . Having a child with special needs can put a strain on a marriage. I know this because I am living through it. Everyone handle these situations differently and we need to respect that as well.

In my next post I will tell you Alex's Story. I hope that this helps anyone who is reading this. If it give you some help and some hope! You are Amazing people! With an Amazing journey a head of you! Your child was given to you for a reason! Know and believe that! You may not like the situation but the love you have for your child is just enough to help them through this journey called life! 

A New Stage in My Life!

        So I have come to the realization that I am in a new stage of life! To be honest I don't know if I really like this stage but it is something all Mom have to go through, I think? I made the decision to have children. In fact I could not wait to have children. Now, I do and I truly love it even when I have to go through these stages. No one told me these thing, I have to discover them on my own. I wonder why no one told me about these stages? Oh.... because they do pass. Maybe because the GOOD out weighs the BAD.
     I don't know about you...maybe you have not been through this but I am going through it.
     When you first have a child or two, you don't get much sleep because you are feeding and changing diapers. You do have time to do the things that you like to do. (For me it's doing crafts) This continues into toddler stage 1-3yrs of age. They still take naps. :) Now I have three Children who are now 3,5,and 6. My time for crafting has disappeared. I now clean, take care of kids, cook, drive around.... and the list goes on. At night time I can't start something because I am having to take care of kids waking up, night terrors and cleaning up the house not to mention the over whelming flood of tiredness. I tired making a Craft this afternoon and thought it would be fun to let the kids do it too. It didn't go as planned. They needed my help a lot. That is fine but I could not get what I needed done. That's when I realized even when I try to make time, it wont happen.
     This is the time to do what the kids want to do. This is the time to be with the kids because it will go fast... they will become tween and then its hit or miss when it comes to spending time with them. Then they become teenagers and they start having a life of their own more than ever.
     So I have  decided to put my love for crafting for myself away and pick up something that I can have time to do. To write on my blog, read a book, watch t.v, write in my journal, look on the Internet for craft tutorial to write down. For this is the stage that I am in. I will enjoy it the best I can. Make the memories with my kids, teach them to grow up to be amazing people that they will become and know that my time to craft will come again.
    I am not putting it away  because I can't cut cold turkey. smile I will share my joy of crafting with my kids.
     Welcome new stage in Life. I am going to make the best of it! My kids will be the better for it and so will I!!!
      

Its been a while!

I can't believe its been almost a year since I last wrote! Life has sure been busy. I can't catch you up on all of last year, in one post. For that I am sorry! Things have been rough and for the next few months there will be lots of challenges and decisions.

I have been looking back on my old post and whish that I had written. It's my own personal diary... but it is also documention for Alex, my youngest son. We have been going to many dr. apt latley and they ask me when did he start crawling, siting up, talking and many other question. I have a lot of his medical records on paper in a file box as well as C.D of his MRI's X-Rays and Dr. Visit. AS for his mildstones. I don't have those written down. Then I look back on these post and I see I have writtten them down, for they were so exciting. So I am going to try to make it more of a priority to write on this blog again. No matter how busy life will be. Thoes I know I should probably start a little earlier in the night for it is 11:15 and I am terribly exaused.

I am not a writer, I am a Mom with a very busy life. So you all get me just they way I am... spelling/grammer mistacks and all. I hope you don't mind. But if you are all interested in my journy you can click back here and catch up once in a while.

Have a wonderful night and tomorrow a day full of hopes and fullfillment!

Up at night!

It is 2:08 am sooo much on my mind! Just watched a utube video on Ben Breedlove...who died on Christmas 2011. Talked about his experience of almost dying three times! Gave me comfort about were my sister may have been the week before she died. With an angel! Watched the video "we are the world..Haiti " awesome awesome...touches your heart as songs do! Take a look at it.

Love those around you with all your heart...heal broken relationship for you will miss them when they are gone! Tend to those relationships in your life now because they are worth more than Gold. Love the children with the love of God. Smile to those who you don't know...it could make someone feel like they matter! You don't have to go across the sea to just to help someone ( if you can that is most wonderful too!) ...they could be at your church, school, neighbor, or family member. For we are the examples of God to the world even if the world may not know him!!!

To sleep or not to sleep is the real question!

How did I get here? Kids waking up three or four times a night. Having to stay in the room until they fall asleep. After all that I still wake up in my full size bed with three kids a husband and myself. There was a time when I could put all three kids in bed by themselves awake with the door open and the night light on and walk out without a fuss!

Something happened along the way to get us here at this point. But that is not what I am going to talk about.
I have decided to blog this experence in my life because I know from Facebook that I am not alone in this nightmare of a cycle... and I do mean nightmare! (smiles)

After going home for Thanksgiving and seeing other family member put their kids to bed I thought to myself that is enough. I can't do it anymore. It's not good for me and it's really not good for my kids. With out the help and support of many, which we all need...I am ready to tackle this problem.

I started Friday November 25th 2011. Through the encouragement of my older sister Lia who has two kids of her own I used the crying method. There are many methods and I read up on a few. I also remember the "nanny" method taken from the show "The Nanny".

One of the nanny methods, was to kiss them good night and put them in bed. When they came out of the room...put them back in bed with out saying anything and do this until they stay in bed. I know it works because that is how I got all the kids to go to bed the first time. It was effective but very tiring for me. Now that my youngest Emma is older that method did not work very well.

So I went to the crying method of letting them cry it out. Extremely effective and less tiring for me physically. But I must worn you very hard on the heart as a mother. You need people to call as you go through this to encourage you through it. It is easy to give up on...but you must be strong because as my sister and mom would say it is better in the long run for all of you! If both parents can be on board with this even better!

I have logged my 5 day and will show you the progress!

Friday night took them 50 min to stop crying and to go to sleep. 50 min that were so hard! I was texting my sister back and forth and calling my mom just to get through this! Eli and Alex stayed in bed and cried. Emma feel asleep in front of the door with her little fingers underneath the door. I had to wait till she woke up to move her back into her bed.

Saturday night it took 28 min and only Eli and Emma were crying. Emma fell asleep by the door with her little finger peaking through.

Sunday Took another 28 min of just Emma crying. This time I heard her run back to her bed and she fell asleep in her bed. I was very excited about that.

(I forgot to mention that they have a light on and music playing to drown out the noise from the family room as our house has very thin walls and is small. They also all sleep in the same room for we only have a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom house)

Monday it took 3 min for the room to be quiet and all were in their beds asleep. I could not believe it! Eli woke up and woke up Emma of course and we had to start all over again but a battle had been one.

Tuesday tonight it took 38 seconds and everyone was in their beds and quiet. The door was still open and the light on. This light is not a really bright light... but it was not a night light. Eli needed to feel safe. I thought I would try to compromise.

When they were asleep I would open the door turn off the light and the night light would be on and the music going or not.

Now Eli my 5 year old would often yell from the other side of the door anything he could say to have me come in the room. "mommy I'm scared! Mommy I need to tell you something...you need to come in so I can tell you something. Mommy there is a black widow in the room and it's gonna bite me. I am not happy about this...tell daddy that I need to discuss the with him. I am not okay with this. Mommy are you out there? I need to know your out there." I answered him once and then did not answer him the other times. They will try everything and anything to have you open the door.

I also would explain every night what was going to happen. I would shut the door and when you are asleep I would open it up. I will always be in the family room. You are with your brothers and sister!

It is late and I am finally winding down from them waking up. I should head to bed now. Before I leave you I must tell you that it's not over! It has only begun. My kids still wake up many times at night at they still end up in my bed most of the time. It is now time to tackle this problem. Because I am still not getting sleep and they are still waking up.

Last night Emma cried for about an hour and woke up Eli. He through a tantrum because he did not want to go back to bed in his room. Tonight before 11 he woke up three times and tried to stay out in the family room with daddy or come crawl into bed with me.

Emma wakes up and wants me to hold her hand till she falls asleep. This is what I am trying to break her of at the beginning of bed time.

I will be back tomorrow to fill you in on what I did. Along with some other things I have done! Night you all and I'll see write you tomorrow ... I hope not this late at night or should I say early morning! Smiles

Forgiven my grammar and my spelling...it's late!

One more thing...my son Alex cried the first night and has not cried since...He also is the only one that sleep through the night and usually wakes up around 5 or 6 and then we go comfort him or he crawls down the hall into our room!

Small...I mean Small acts of kindness go so very very far for being so small!

I don't know if it is because as an adult you hear more of the bad things that are happening in the world or all around you or even with your friends and what they have to go through. I don't know if it's because as a child you are more focused on yourself than other. What I do know is this ... the smallest acts of kindness make the world of difference.

I experienced this tonight. Today was a hard day. Kids fighting, not listening, getting nothing done was what I was dealing with. I went to the food store to get milk and when I came out, a man took my cart and put it away for me. You may say, what that is just... Nothing big.. but to me, it made my night. He may not have even thought about it or even cared. He was just putting away his card and took mine as well. But to me it was him showing kindness to a stranger.

So, I guess I write this for two reasons. The first reason is the littlest things you may not know you do... could mean the world to another person. A smile, opening the door for someone, or a phone call to say hi I'm thinking about you are all things that could change the outlook on someone bad day. The second reason is a reminder to start teaching our children to recognize the little things you do mean a lot! Helping a brother or sister while they are feeling sad. Or sharing a toy with a friend could change their outlook on that day. To start to make it a natural thing to just think of others, not for a reaction, or for a Thank you but just because that is what God calls us to do!

I pray that tomorrow, I may be more conscious of not holding back with the little things I can do, to who ever I see or come in contact with, where ever I may be.

As my world turns!

Tired! Seems as though at night I am more tired than I have ever been in my life! Usually I'm a night person but not so much anymore!

Worried! About Alex, my sister, my friends, and many other things I just don't want to get into!
Thankful, for a loving husband and three beautiful kids who fill my days with such love and joy, even when they are sucking all the energy out of me. Smiles

Calm: That the Lord has me right were I need to be. Even if it is in a place where I don't want to be... good will come out of it because it is where God wants me!

Hope: for a better tomorrow, May it be filled with joy and life lessons, and good talks.

Hoping that my words maybe comforting for those in need. That I may share in the joy for others when good things happen to them!

Tears: for my friends and family who need a listening ear and a compassionate hear! May I meet them where they are and give them the love God has given me!

Trust: In the Lord for my not so great circumstances. That I may trust the Lord that he is watching over us.

Most of all Love: May I show Love through my actions to family and friends. May they get a small glimpse of God's love through me to them.

To be continued tomorrow night! Smiles