Friday, May 8, 2009
I just wanted to say many good things are happening that I get to focus on. I can escape the bad for just a little while.
We are pregnant again. Friday the 8th, I will be 3 months pregnant. This was a surprise for us, but a good one! This pregnancy has gone really well. I have had no morning sickness really. I mean besides the stomach flue twice last month I've had no nausea. Yeah! It has been a very different pregnancy so far. I think it might be a girl. (I am only guessing and hoping) There was a heart beat at the ultra sound. It was the first thing I looked for. (smile)
Eli is doing well. He is such a smart little guy that I think he is smarter than me already. (smile) I try to build up my son's self esteem everyday. I think he knows it to because all he as to do is look at me with those big brown eyes, and that smile to die for and he gets his way. This is not good on my part. (oops) I need to toughen up. (smile) We have been battling bed time for a while. Both boys have a hard time going to bed with out me singing a song or being in the room as for Alex having to rock him to sleep. Well, just yesterday we went back to putting them to bed and walking out. They are both not happy about that. It will take some time to get used to but I know they can do it. They did it once before. I need to just be consistent and strong. I just need to know in my head that in the long run it will be better for all of us. (smile)
Jason is working hard as usual. We don't get to see much of him these days. It's tough on all of us. I know he misses us and the kids miss him. I hope and pray that this will pass as well and there will be one day that we will get to do the family thing all together. As for now, God has us were we are for some reason. Still trying to figure it out. (smile)
Now for Alex, I can not tell you how much this little guy has changed. He is catching up little by little. I'll give you the highlights. He is clapping his hands together with both hands open. He is crawling on everything. He pulls himself up on to his little rocking chair and then pulls himself onto the couch and then were ever else he can. It is so great to watch. The best thing of all is that he is babbling all day long. It's the same sounds right now but it is so wonderful to hear. It seems like he says thing and then looks at me to answer his question or get what he asked for. I love it.
We are still having trouble with his contacts. We have our good days and our bad days. Seems like now, I have a harder time putting them in than taking them out. Who knows I now that someday in the future, Alex will be able to do it all by himself. In the mean time it's my job. I try to do it as fast as I can. He screams but then once they are out or in I pick him up and the crying stops right away. I don't blame him! Do you? I mean I would not want someone pocking my eye twice a day. (smile) He is such a little trooper. We also have some problems losing the contacts. I am constantly looking in his eyes hoping that they are were they are supposed to be. Once or twice a day they seem to move off of the eye. Most of the time it is still in his eye but we already have lost two contacts. The third time, I found it on his high chair. That was really lucky.
As for me, I am doing okay. I am just focusing on all the good. There are many other struggles in my life right now that have been difficult to deal with but I would rather train myself to look at the good. Not ignoring the hard things but not giving them my worry time. I need to not dwell on the bad and embrace the good!