Wednesday, November 30, 2011
To sleep or not to sleep is the real question!
How did I get here? Kids waking up three or four times a night. Having to stay in the room until they fall asleep. After all that I still wake up in my full size bed with three kids a husband and myself. There was a time when I could put all three kids in bed by themselves awake with the door open and the night light on and walk out without a fuss!
Something happened along the way to get us here at this point. But that is not what I am going to talk about.
I have decided to blog this experence in my life because I know from Facebook that I am not alone in this nightmare of a cycle... and I do mean nightmare! (smiles)
After going home for Thanksgiving and seeing other family member put their kids to bed I thought to myself that is enough. I can't do it anymore. It's not good for me and it's really not good for my kids. With out the help and support of many, which we all need...I am ready to tackle this problem.
I started Friday November 25th 2011. Through the encouragement of my older sister Lia who has two kids of her own I used the crying method. There are many methods and I read up on a few. I also remember the "nanny" method taken from the show "The Nanny".
One of the nanny methods, was to kiss them good night and put them in bed. When they came out of the room...put them back in bed with out saying anything and do this until they stay in bed. I know it works because that is how I got all the kids to go to bed the first time. It was effective but very tiring for me. Now that my youngest Emma is older that method did not work very well.
So I went to the crying method of letting them cry it out. Extremely effective and less tiring for me physically. But I must worn you very hard on the heart as a mother. You need people to call as you go through this to encourage you through it. It is easy to give up on...but you must be strong because as my sister and mom would say it is better in the long run for all of you! If both parents can be on board with this even better!
I have logged my 5 day and will show you the progress!
Friday night took them 50 min to stop crying and to go to sleep. 50 min that were so hard! I was texting my sister back and forth and calling my mom just to get through this! Eli and Alex stayed in bed and cried. Emma feel asleep in front of the door with her little fingers underneath the door. I had to wait till she woke up to move her back into her bed.
Saturday night it took 28 min and only Eli and Emma were crying. Emma fell asleep by the door with her little finger peaking through.
Sunday Took another 28 min of just Emma crying. This time I heard her run back to her bed and she fell asleep in her bed. I was very excited about that.
(I forgot to mention that they have a light on and music playing to drown out the noise from the family room as our house has very thin walls and is small. They also all sleep in the same room for we only have a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom house)
Monday it took 3 min for the room to be quiet and all were in their beds asleep. I could not believe it! Eli woke up and woke up Emma of course and we had to start all over again but a battle had been one.
Tuesday tonight it took 38 seconds and everyone was in their beds and quiet. The door was still open and the light on. This light is not a really bright light... but it was not a night light. Eli needed to feel safe. I thought I would try to compromise.
When they were asleep I would open the door turn off the light and the night light would be on and the music going or not.
Now Eli my 5 year old would often yell from the other side of the door anything he could say to have me come in the room. "mommy I'm scared! Mommy I need to tell you something...you need to come in so I can tell you something. Mommy there is a black widow in the room and it's gonna bite me. I am not happy about this...tell daddy that I need to discuss the with him. I am not okay with this. Mommy are you out there? I need to know your out there." I answered him once and then did not answer him the other times. They will try everything and anything to have you open the door.
I also would explain every night what was going to happen. I would shut the door and when you are asleep I would open it up. I will always be in the family room. You are with your brothers and sister!
It is late and I am finally winding down from them waking up. I should head to bed now. Before I leave you I must tell you that it's not over! It has only begun. My kids still wake up many times at night at they still end up in my bed most of the time. It is now time to tackle this problem. Because I am still not getting sleep and they are still waking up.
Last night Emma cried for about an hour and woke up Eli. He through a tantrum because he did not want to go back to bed in his room. Tonight before 11 he woke up three times and tried to stay out in the family room with daddy or come crawl into bed with me.
Emma wakes up and wants me to hold her hand till she falls asleep. This is what I am trying to break her of at the beginning of bed time.
I will be back tomorrow to fill you in on what I did. Along with some other things I have done! Night you all and I'll see write you tomorrow ... I hope not this late at night or should I say early morning! Smiles
Forgiven my grammar and my spelling...it's late!
One more thing...my son Alex cried the first night and has not cried since...He also is the only one that sleep through the night and usually wakes up around 5 or 6 and then we go comfort him or he crawls down the hall into our room!