My heart cries!

Tonight he has been a lot better! He had an episode of pain tonight at 2:00am. My heart cries for him. He calls out to me and I am supposed to comfort and help take the pain away!

There is nothing I can do as my baby cries in pain. I can't pick him up and hold him tight ! Can't take the physical pain away. I CAN be there. I CAN put a cold cloth on his forehead and tell him make believe stories. I CAN take deep breaths with him and the most important I CAN PRAY for him.

I have to be honest I could not be strong for him tonight or I should say this morning! Had to go and cry in the waiting room. I keep telling myself it will get better .. It has to get better ! His body will heal!

As a mother you don't want your son in pain! I went through his seizures and his eye surgeries and his Phnemonia hospital stays, but this is so different! So much has happened to that little body and now it is trying to heal. As much emotional pain I feel for my son he is feeling that much physical pain.

The comfort is in knowing that my father in heaven is watching this little guy , that he knows what is going on! I pray for a calmness And an understanding as to why the medication is not doing what it's supposed to be doing. To have the understanding that there are multiple things going on that can cause him different pain and each meds help treat the different pain.

Well as it is 3:09 am ... I must get sleep.
This is the reality of all this and I want to be real with you guys through the ups and downs of this experience. May you draw comfort if you have a child going through something like this, that your not alone! That there have been others who have and are going through it with you.

In my future post there will be good news! There will be a healing!!